Welcome ACOSA
Finding Healing & Hope
If you found this page, you were searching for other people like you. People who grew up with a sexually addicted parent. This group started because of the struggled to find other adult children of sex addicts that can relate to one another.
Although we did not go through the exact same things necessarily, we can all relate to the shame, fear, confusion, pain, trauma, anger ... that comes with growing up in a home with a sex addict.
We are simply people whose lives have been deeply affected by another person’s sexaholism.
We can't heal if we aren't talking about it!
Shannon M. shares some of her story...
My parents believed that I was not affected by the addiction in my house because it wasn't about me. They "hid" it. They didn't think I knew what was really going on. The reality is that we were all absorbing the tension around us. I was absorbing the tension and pain in my house every day. For years I thought that no one would understand. I thought no one could relate to what was happening in my head, but I know that I am not alone. Other families are broken apart the way that mine was, more children looking for answers. There are other young women out there, just like me, with the same fears and anxieties. I have struggled for years to understand things about my family that I now know that I will never have answers to.
There is so much shame around this it's not something that we easily talked to our friends about. I have friends who have alcohol addicted parents or who are they themselves addicted. People talk about it. Even drugs, taboo in some circles - its understandable, recovery is common. But sex. How do you explain that to someone that isn't living it and have them understand and believe you? Who do you talk to if you are confused and think that you might have a problem? No one. No one talks about this.
This group started to help bring healing to adult children of sex addicts. We were all likely impacted by the sex addiction in different ways. Maybe in your relationships or poor partner choices, your own sexuality, or even who and how you trust or just your overall sense of what is real. I have struggled with all of these things and more. I am the daughter of a sex addict. Not the kind of sex addict most people, think of when they hear those words together. People often think of someone sitting around watching porn on the internet or flipping through magazines, fantasizing about the images laid out before them. My father's sex addiction was beyond a videos and pictures; it lead him to what I like to refer to as a "double life."
I have not had a good relationship with my father. I am now married with my own children that he does not know. It's taken me nearly 30 years to have the courage to take the time to look at this impact on my life. My father just turned 80 and he does not have a lot of time left with his health declining rapidly. I think that is why I feel safe doing this now. I wish I had the courage to do it before I was in my 40's but I am so glad to be on this journey now.